What is the opposite of love? It is not hate- it must be closer to apathy or fear- hate requires caring, or a passion; love requires investment and concern. I am concerned that our urban community has a growing sense of apathy and fear. When our neighborhood had a gang shooting, a neighbor was shot and his survival was uncertain. Our neighbors locked their doors, pulled the shades and considered finding a new place to live. Restorative Practices (RP) teach us through the Social Discipline window that when things are done “with” people, we can expect better (prosocial) or more creative outcomes than when we don’t care or when we do “for” or “to” people. Why is that? What do you think? What would happen if people had come out of their houses after harm had been done, sat on their porches, gathered in the local park or church to grieve, pray, wonder, share and provide strength to each other?
Fear is a strong, paralyzing emotion. Many of you are aware of the conflict in the Ukraine and the death of all those on the Malaysian jetliner. An article in the paper said …“There are no easy answers …this crash is an example of what people do to others when driven by fear, extremism and hate.” Are there any answers, any possible ways to move other than fear and destruction? RP is one idea, technique and philosophy; it is a way that I hope will be a part of the solution. Maybe we cannot solve the international crisis in Ukraine/Russia, in the Middle East or Africa, but what about in our neighborhood, with our neighbor, or within our own family? Could we start there? This starting point is why Ripple Community Inc. (RCI) exists, to be a force for peace, caring and action in our time and our place. That is why we are teaching this RCI class - in hope to keep looking for ways to stop, interrupt or change the violence and discord in our city.
I believe that we who are participating in RP are part of a larger vision, a movement, and an experiment, an action that could change this city. We have the potential for change – not because we have Neighborhood Improvement Zone (NIZ) dollars or power from the government, none of those ways succeed if there is not connection to people who care to see the larger picture. We need to be able to listen to the pain, brokenness and needs in peoples lives and talk about ways to make things right when wrong has been done.
We need each other. No one is a part of RCI who is not an important part of our community, neighborhood and city. Together we can do great things, amazing things. We can listen, we can let our story out and share that power of listening and let creative problem solving happen. Too often we think about all we do not have, what I am not good at, but RP says you have something that you know, something that others can benefit from, are you willing to be a part by sharing your gift? I would like to ask and listen to each of you share your knowledge, skills, care for children, knowledge of history, the way you survive on a few dollars a day, and how to be a friend.
If we don’t find a new path, more innocent people will be hurt by hate and will lose their lives, wherever they may live. Of course there are no easy answers, but that doesn’t mean we should stop looking. I am hoping you will engage this topic… how can we keep this RCI idea alive? How can we bring people back into community, so that those who have been hurt and those who have hurt are all part of us and every person has something to bring to the table?
That man who was shot out in front of our house lived. One Sunday he showed up at RIPPLE, his posture bent and pain in his eyes, but determined to walk using a walker. He said, “I heard you all were praying for me. I wanted to see you and tell you I was one of those who hurt people, too. But now I want to be a person who tells others how to live right and stop this killing.” That is what RCI is about--caring enough to act in small ways that can make a big difference.
- I am wondering what commitments you hold that bring you to this site and what it is about you and the gifts you hold that may be valuable to this community.
-What would it take, when harm has been done in our neighborhoods, for people to come out of their houses, sit on their porches, gather in the local park (perhaps around the Ripple Peace Pole in Franklin Park) or church to grieve, pray, wonder, share and provide strength and hope to each other?
-How can we bring people back into community, those who have been hurt and marginalized and those who have hurt others? Will the community benefit if “they” are all part of “us”? Do you believe this can happen and is it worth the effort?
Next week I will be blogging about a book that explores some of these questions …Community, the Structure of Belonging, by Peter Block.