Today is our final day focusing on listening skills- we have spent a great deal of time on compassionate listening. Our leadership team of seven, made up of volunteers from RCI, Ripple church and those on the RCI board of advisers, led by John Bender, had been meeting for over three months planning this training for the community. The team was in agreement that listening is a foundational, if not a prerequisite skill, for RP. If you cannot listen with empathy and compassion, it is probable you will not be able facilitate or even be an active participant in the circles of restoration.
Our compassionate listening was done in one larger circle of about 10 people. One participant, usually quiet and not a typical volunteer, quickly asked if she could share her story – a story of a difficult situation, isolation and trauma. The story quickly shifted from the surface story to a deeper context of pain, shame and exclusion. There was a sense of togetherness and even healing, as she shared the story and exhibited a much greater openness in her body language (smiles, eye contact and sitting up) and positive verbal responses filled with hope and laughter. The possibilities for healing by being able to share our stories and be heard continue to amaze me. The shift often seems to be from isolation and shame to community and hope.
Do you agree that listening is a prerequisite skill to facilitating restorative practices? Why or why not?
Our numbers where small again today, we strongly encouraged the couple who brought the snacks to stay, but they felt their priorities were in other places. How might we better understand the priority setting of the participants? Is there a way to bring these issues out from under the table to above the table?
The leaders intentionally encouraged participants to help provide snacks for our fellowship time after the sessions. It was thought that this action encourages being “with” each other, even if only a small snack or a portion of it was provided. It seems like this provided the ability to serve, share and provide dignity to the participants. Do you think this is a practice that we should continue or modify?
Any thoughts on the shift that occurred in the woman’s story today? Why do you think she left with a heavy weight lifted off her shoulders?